We tend to make promises to each other with promise rings; with wedding vows (until death do us part); with words of reassurance… We tell each other we’ll call, or we’ll write, or we’ll be a better friend. But what do we really mean when we make those promises?
Do we make these promises just to appease the other person?
Do we say it just to string people along?
Do we say it just because it feels good to have words come out of our mouths?
There are many marriages that are running amuck because people DO NOT take these things to heart. I don’t know what the reasoning behind it is, but I do feel that if you are going to take that step that you should be ready to take that step wholeheartedly.
I take relationships/friendships (both are the same in its own context) very seriously. Over the years I must admit that I have gotten lax to a certain degree, but I am trying to be a better friend to the people that show me that they are willing to do the same for me. If you are willing to reach out and be there for me, then I will in turn do the same for you. I am that kind of friend that you can call at any time and I will give you a pep talk, a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to talk off. I can also say that I am not the kind of friend that will listen to the same woe is me story for the 20th time because you will continue to do the same thing and wonder why me…
I no longer continue to force my friendship on anyone. I can’t be the only one driving the relationship. If people want to make an effort they do, if they don’t… they ultimately don’t ~ It’s just the way it is!
If you have made the promise to be that friend; that lover; that husband/wife; that ride or die, then take that promise to that commitment wholeheartedly and give it your all. If you don’t have any intentions of doing this then don’t waste people’s time. Time is too precious! Time can never be replaced! Time is too short on this planet we call Earth and we need to do better with our relationships.
I will start with me! Can you make the commitment? I ask my family members to take that challenge and do the damn thing! I ask my friends to take the challenge and do the damn thing. Life is TOO SHORT to screw it away with coulda; shoulda; woulda!
KLJ ~ Smooches & Love like there is no tomorrow!
I had a recent conversation with a friend of mine. (We have that love/hate kind of relationship)
We were talking about my book and I was doing an interview to get his take on some things. (I got some good information to help me with some of my stories)
Okay, enough about that~So back to my topic of this message...
How long exactly should you pursue and unwanted relationship?
How long have you ever tried to reign someone back in while failing miserably and hurting your ego in the process?
My motto these days is if I can visibly/self-consciously notice that my text messages/my calls/my emails/my visits are unwanted, it's time for me to move on. No game was ever won with only one person playing on a team. There has to be at least two people for a thriving relationship to be had. If one person seems to be putting in more work than the other then it is time-in my opinion that you walk away with your dignity (n. the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect) left intact.
It never fails for you trying to be the bigger person and trying to salvage whatever is left only to turn into the aggressor because you feel that you are being ignored; disrespected; ridiculed.
I'm saying all of this because I have been the pursuer way too many times. I have come to the realization that if I have to chase after people, I would rather be doing something better off like working on the people that can stand with me in agreement and love me for who I am regardless of my faults!
Life is too short to play the game of cat and mouse. I no longer do this and at my age, I really shouldn't have to!
Know who your real friends are because unfortunately some people are only out there for their own selfish needs and use people to their advantage.
This is "what's on my mind" today, what's on your mind?
Be blessed and remember to #motivate #empower every chance you get!
1 <3 Smooches KLJ
Dating? We’ve all done it at one time or another, maybe…
We have our list of traits that we want in a mate.
We have our list of deal breakers.
We have our list of “things” that we would like to get out of the relationship.
We also have a “type” somewhere in the back of our head of just what our mate should look like, and just how they should carry themselves.
With that being said, we know on initial contact at times that this right here just won’t work.
There are many reasons why we may decide on that, but I think the main factor is and this is unfortunate for many, is the ability to judge a book by its cover.
Do not get me wrong ~ Looks are the first thing that is noticed(we are visual creatures); the way their lips curve up when the smile, the way that they can stroll into a room and demand all eyes on them; and do not forget the way that their eyes can hold your gaze so intently. Whether we would want to agree/believe it or not, the physical appearance tends to overrule in most instances and would normally be the “thing” that would help us in making our decision.
I recently joined a popular dating site and that lasted all of about two weeks.
I’ve tried the online dating and I really don’t believe it is the way for me to put myself out there. Call me old-fashioned, or just call me old, but it just doesn’t do it for me. I gave it a go, I could have held out a bit longer, but I just couldn’t.
I had one guy who was bold enough to have married me in just his introduction (that is what it felt like) to me…
Turn off? MAJOR
So, if I have to go about putting myself out there the old fashioned way so be it.
I know I will not lose sleep over it. I will continue to be the best me that I can be!
Continue to make YOU a better YOU ~ everyone benefits from this, but mainly the person that matters the most!!!!!!
Inspire. Motivate. Enrich. Bless. Cherish. Love.